The Hearse Song

I stumbled across this little ditty today.  How…quaint.  I thought I’d share.

Don’t you ever laugh as the hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
From your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
Then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimey green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a slice of bread,
And that’s what you eat when you are dead.

###
Guess what? I also write horror and thriller novels. Click here for more...


Over a Million Views

That stupid ShamWow commercial I uploaded to YouTube back in June of last year has been viewed over a million times. And to think that the time I just figured only a few people would even care. Here are the stats as of today:

For more of the same you can also views Vince’s other claim to fame, the Slap Chop. Oh yeah. I guess that hooker he beat up knows the full extent of Vince’s “slap chop”. That joke really just told itself. 🙂

###
Guess what? I also write horror and thriller novels. Click here for more...


Sham-Wow Gone Bad

Looks like Vince (the Sham-wow guy) beat the crap out of a hooker after she tried to bite his tongue off. I wish I could make this stuff up.

Read all about it…

0327092sham1
Good-Time Boy

What happened to the happy-go-lucky loser I used to know and love? Some people just lose their way, I guess. 🙂

0327092inside1
It'll Have You Saying WTF? Every Time
###
Guess what? I also write horror and thriller novels. Click here for more...