36 Trips Around the Sun

I turned thirty-six in February.  Thirty-six, if you can believe that shit.  Four years away from forty.  Forty!  That’s the age of someone’s dad!  Oh wait; I am someone’s dad.

When I was young-grade school age-I never thought much past age thirty.  I wondered what I’d be doing when I was twenty one.  I wondered what I’d be doing when the year 200o rolled around.  I knew I’d be twenty-six but didn’t know where I’d be.  Little did I know I’d be finishing college and moving 500 miles away from West Virginia to Missouri, where I’d stake out my little place to live out the American dream.

Forty?  Didn’t think much about that then.  I figured I’d have kids, maybe a job worth a shit.  Who knew?  Thirty-six?  Never gave it a moment’s thought; it’s really a non-milestone age.  Overlooked in the glow of thirty-five and the fear and stigma of forty.

So here I am, halfway through the year I turned thirty-six.  Thirty-six trips around the sun for me.

So where am I now, at age thirty-six?  What have I done?  What’s changed?  Did I accomplish the things I thought I would?  What didn’t turn out the way I thought it would?

I’m thirty-six with two kids and a wife.  My wife and I have been together for fifteen years and have been married for twelve years.  Our relationship is changing, modifying as we get older, as we accumulate years together.  We’re staying flexible with each other, flexible with what life is throwing at us.  We’re in a partnership, and we’re together for life.  This is actually where I thought I would be, but our marriage is a little different than I imagined it might be.  It’s more difficult; not quite as easy as I’d originally thought, but those are the ideals of youth. Although difficult at times it’s rewarding and not at all impossible to maintain. Continue reading

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